AUDITIONS: 2016 Ten x 10 Playfest

Ten 10 minute plays have been selected and the directors appointed for each play. Now it’s time to organise the actors!!

Auditions are being held in the Board Room at the Commercial Club on Gurwood Street from 1.30pm Saturday April 2nd.  (The performances will be on June 17, 18 and 19)

For more information, please contact the SoACT office on 02 6921 2594

Some monologue material has been provided (see below) for you to read/present as little or as much as you see fit to give the directors an idea of your style and capabilities.

Female:

I Ate the Divorce Papers
Comedic female monologue from the play Goodbye Charles
By Gabriel Davis
(Monologist stands in front of her soon to be ex-husband)

I ate them. That’s right. I ate the divorce papers, Charles. I ate them with ketchup. And they were good…goooood. You probably want me to get serious about our divorce. The thing is you always called our marriage a joke. So let’s use logic here: If A we never had a serious marriage then B we can’t have a serious divorce. No. We can’t. The whole thing’s a farce, Charles – a farce that tastes good with ketchup.

I mean, wasn’t it last week, your dad asked you the reason you walked down that aisle with me, and you said “for the exercise.” Ha, ha. That’s funny. You’re a funny guy, Charles. I’m laughing, not a crying. Ha, ha. I’m laughing because you’re about to give up on a woman who is infinitely lovable.

For instance: Paul. He has loved me since the eighth grade. Sure, he’s a little creepy, but he reeeeally loves me. He’s made one hundred twenty seven passes at me, proposed forty seven times, and sent me over two hundred original love sonnets. He sees something in me, Charles. And he writes it down, in metered verse!

And that’s not something you just find everyday. Someone who really loves everything about who you are as a person. Paul may be insane, but I value his feelings for me.

I would never ask him to sign his name to a piece of paper promising to just turn off his feelings for me forever. But that’s what you’re asking me to do, for you. To sign away my right to…to that sweet voice Charles, those baby brown eyes, the way your hands feel through my hair before bed…

Those aren’t things I want to lose. In fact, I won’t lose them. I won’t lose you. I’ll woo you. I’ve written you a sonnet. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day. Thou art more lovely and more temperate, rough winds do shake the darling buds of may and…”  I’m not crying. I’m laughing. It’s all a big joke. It’s very funny, Charles. I keep waiting for you to say “April Fools.” Then I’ll rush into your arms and… But you’re not going to, are you? No. Of course not. It’s not April.

I, I didn’t really write that sonnet, you know. Paul did. I think it’s good.

You see, the truth…the truth is, Charles, I ate the divorce papers, I ate them, because I can’t stomach the thought of losing you.

 

Male:

The Fact Checker 
Comedic male monologue from the play Goodbye Charles
by Gabriel Davis
I’m not the kind of guy who spends hundreds on a last minute flight back to New York, tears across town, then runs up six flights of stairs and knocks on my best friend’s girlfriend’s door in order to run off and elope with her based on one crazy, thoughtless, inexplicably romantic night.

So what am I doing here, Audrey? I’m not passionate. I’m a fact checker for Christ’s sake. And the fact of me – being here – doesn’t check out. It’s nuts! Soul-mates? I don’t believe in them. Never have. So how can I be yours? The fact is, you hardly know me! And I hardly know you!

Now, your boyfriend, I’ve known since kindergarten. Am I really willing to throw all those years of friendship away based on…what? Some feeling? Some intense, aching, gnawing, burning, torturing feeling that’s telling me I must be with you or I’ll die a slow and horrible death as my heart slowly breaks into a thousand pieces? No!

I mean, this is the kind of thing that only happens in the movies – and we’re not in the movies. We’re on McDougal Street, two blocks south of Bleecker – that’s where we are. That is an indisputable geographical fact. A solid, rational, clear, black and white fact. And all the facts are pointing to one thing: we can’t do this. All the facts say I shouldn’t be here.

Because the fact is you are in a relationship. Because the fact is we just met yesterday. Because the fact is I’m not the kind of guy who falls in love. That’s a fact. A cold hard fact. And facts are supposed to be true.

But the problem is….see…the problem is…despite every fact I can muster, there’s something that still doesn’t check out. Because the truth is despite all facts to the contrary…I still love you madly. And it just defies all reason. All morality. All sense. But I do. I love you madly. And it’s not like me. And I don’t want to. But I can’t help it.

I’m yours, Audrey. Completely, totally, hopelessly, and utterly…yours..

 

 

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